Dares and Mental Scars
by NamiMakimono
Summary: Ah, a new wonderful Naruto Crackfic begins with a sad ending to everyone's hearing.


I do not own naruto or any of the characters although I've wished and dreamed many times...no one's been nice enough to give me a chance with these character's fate.

*sigh*

Enjoy!!

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**Dares and Mental Scars**

The teams were at the training grounds as usual. Except for an evil grinning blonde walking to the others.

As usual, Sakura was drooling over Sasuke, who was trying to brood over how he was going to kill Itachi. Kakashi was reading his little orange book while Sai sat under a tree, drawing peacefully. The sand siblings were sitting down watching the others. Chouji was munching on a bag of chips, Shino was watching some beetles, Neji and Hinata were standing off to the side, Shikamaru was laying down looking at the clouds, Tenten and Lee were training, Ino was near Sakura also drooling over Sasuke, and the other sensei's were off watching their students while talking.

Naruto finally made it over to his teammates with that same evil smirk.

"Naruto-baka! Where have you been?!" Sakura yelled at him for being late.

He grinned bigger, "Just making sure Kiba kept up his end of the dare."

Sasuke and Kakashi didn't like that look, and raised an eyebrow at Naruto, who couldn't seem to get that smirk off his face.

Naruto turned towards the clearing and whistled, getting everyone's attention.

Heads turned towards the clearing as Kiba came walking out wearing a pink cat outfit…ears, tail, whiskers and all.

Snickering could be heard from different people as Kiba walked over to the middle of everyone, "You know I hate you, right?"

Naruto pulled out a video camera and shrugged, "Eh…Hate me or not, you still have to do it."

Kiba sighed as everyone watched with amusement, while Naruto pushed the record button and watched.

"I'm a cute little…kitty," he began as he started to dance around, "And I want to be hugged and loved."

Everyone died laughing, even Gaara, as Kiba continued to sing and dance. Naruto's evil look only looked worse as he smiled a toothy grin.

"I meow and purr…because I…want to be loved," he was on the verge of something. "Meow, meow, meow. I'm a cute little kitty…"

Sasuke and Gaara were in tears while everyone else were laughing uncontrollably.

"My name's Kiba, the…cute little kitty…" he paused and looked at Naruto.

The blonde grinned, "Do it!"

Kiba blanched and looked at everyone before closing his eyes. He brought his right paw to his check while his left was near his chest, "Nya!"

That was the icing on the cake as no one was left standing. Kiba gave Naruto an evil glare as he ran off to change, muttering promises of death to anyone who says what he did to anyone else.

Kakashi wiped the tears out of his eyes as he looked at the blonde, "Naruto, why did he have to do that?"

He grinned as he put his video camera away, "I dared him if I could beat him in a video game he had to do that."

Ino shook her head, "That was mean, Naruto."

"Shut up Ino-pig! You were laughing as hard as everyone else," Sakura said.

Soon, Ino and Sakura were in another name calling-contest.

Temari stood up, "Why don't we play truth or dare?"

Sakura and Ino stopped arguing and smiled happily as they sat down to start a circle.

"Eh, why not?" Kankuro said as he, Gaara, Temari, Tenten, Lee, Neji, Hinata, Shino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sasuke, Naruto, Sai and a now normally dressed Kiba. The sensei's just watched, one or two with cameras or video cameras.

Sakura looked at everyone, "Okay, here are the rules. When it's your turn, you have to pick someone other than the person who got you. Got it? Other than that, there are no rules," she stopped for a second, then remembered, "Oh yeah, don't dare anything that could kill someone."

Everyone nodded as Ino went first. She stared down Kankuro with a grin, while he began to worry.

"Kankuro," she waited to see his answer.

He grinned, "Dare me!" he said with a cocky attitude.

'Oh, he asked for it' she thought. "Okay, I dare you to… she smiled evilly that even had Sasuke a little worried, "Hug Gaara."

Everyone, even the sensei's, stared in aww at the dare as they looked at Gaara then Kankuro, who was now paler than Sai.

Gaara stared at Kankuro as he walked over to him. Kankuro was sweating bullets as he was a foot away from his younger brother. The red-head had the most chilling death glare on that said 'Try it and die'.

The others watched as Kankuro quickly hugged Gaara, then took off running as Gaara's sand came after him…screaming like a little girl.

Once he finally came back, he glared evilly at Ino, "Hmm," he looked at everyone, "Sakura."

The pink-haired girl thought for a minute, "Dare."

Kankuro thought for a minute, "Go give Lee a kiss."

Sakura's eye began to twitch as she slowly got up and walked over to lee who was on the verge of tears from happiness.

"Oh, Sakura-chan! Our youthfulness has led us to have this wonderful moment!" Lee beamed.

Now, both of Sakura's eyes were twitching, "Lee! Shut up!" She quickly kissed him then began to gag as she made her way back to her seat.

Sasuke, Gaara and a few others were snickering as she glared at them.

"Gaara," she said evilly.

He stopped snickering and glare at her, "Dare."

She thought, then grinned, "Smile."

Temari and Kankuro gasped as Gaara's face went blank.

"Uh…Sakura…I think you short-circuited him," Ino said quietly.

Gaara sat there staring off into space, soon an image popped in his head. A small smirk started to form, slowly growing into a full-blown, cute chibi smile.

Everyone blinked as the red-head kept smiling, then out of nowhere pulled into a large cookie and started munching on it.

"Chouji…" Gaara said after he finished his cookie.

Chouji blinked as he munched on some chips, "…Dare…"

Gaara smiled, again very scary and not good, "Don't eat any snacks for thirty minutes."

Ino and Shikamaru stared at Chouji with their mouths open as Chouji looked like he was about to cry.

He cried as he looked at Sasuke, "You…"

Sasuke just blinked as Chouji pointed at him, "Hn…Dare."

Chouji just sat for a few minutes, "Sing Barbie Girl."

Everyone stopped breathing. The air grew cold and even Gaara looked around.

Slowly, Sasuke stood and began to sing as the teachers began to record.

_-static-_

_*To save the readers from their brains malfunctioning and ultimately exploding, we will skip Sasuke's singing. Thank you.* _

_-static-_

Lee was bleeding from the ears, Kankuro was being pulled to the hospital by Gaara and Kiba, Sakura was crying on Ino's shoulder and the teachers were trying to regain their hearing.

Naruto shook his head to get the ringing out of his ears and sighed, walking home to make several copies to sell for later blackmail.

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OWARI


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